The Real Reason Saruman Is No Longer White

The Real Reason Saruman Is No Longer White

[Scene – The Tower of Orthanc. Saruman is using his palantir to make a much needed clothing purchase, but is having some problems. He paces around impatiently. Cheesy music fills the chamber.]

Music: – Oh! won’t you come back to me, my love, the mushrooms are getting cold. The days are so blue, I’m missing you, and the pipeweed is growing mould. Oh! –

Auto-voice: – I am sorry, all of our palantiri are busy at present. Please hold, your call is important to us. –

[Saruman looks up at this in expectation, but rolls his eyes as the music resumes. Some minutes later, a splutter is heard on the line, and he rushes to the palantir.]

Salesperson: Hello, Lothlorien Robemakers! My name is Ailawen! How may I help you today?

Saruman: Hello, I would like to make an order please.

Read on…

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