The List of Things I Want (But Need Like a Chocolate Teapot) II

The List of Things I Want (But Need Like a Chocolate Teapot) II

Here’s a question for the more culinarily-inclined of you out there. Are you feeling hungry right now? Really hungry? So hungry you could eat an elephant? Try this out for size…

3. Mega Sushi Roll

Japan is well-known for its indulgence in ‘micro-cuisine’. Given the Japanese fascination for all things tiny, it is perhaps not surprising that the Japanese eat small too – from the lunchtime staple of the bento [弁当] boxed lunch to the dizzyingly diverse range of sushi dishes being produced in restaurants all over the world (and, so it seems, on every street in Greater London).

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The List of Things I Want (But Need Like a Chocolate Teapot) I

The List of Things I Want (But Need Like a Chocolate Teapot)

Is it just me, or are we far too easily charmed by silly gimmicks, toys and novelty products?

The other day I discovered a shop in Newcastle city centre which sells (vastly overpriced) items, of which the greatest value to the world could be described as ‘cute factor’; like the Matryoshka Stacked Measuring Spoons or the Mobile Pocket IQ Test, or perhaps the Spinning Petals Flower Fan Which In Fact Doesn’t Cool You Down At All.

Nevertheless, the very fact I stayed inside the shop long enough to gawk at these things persuaded me to dedicate the first of a series of posts to the bizarre novelties which companies come up with to part us with our cash.

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The Igor’th Caketh Rethipe

The Igor'th Caketh Rethipe

A note in scrawly handwriting, found tucked into the pages of a very battered old copy of Nanny Ogg’s Cookbook:

Igor’th Caketh

Igorth are renowned for the thpeed and accurathy of their thurgical operathionth, and even more tho for the exthellent rethulth (and thould we thay, thurvival rateth). Patht patienth thing their praitheth, for an Igor’th accurate thtitching and attentionth to detail hath many a time been the differenth between life, death and thevere dithfigurementh.

There ith no prethent an Igor liketh more than any thpare organth or parth you may have lying around, but if you are looking for thomething extra thpecial for your Igor thith Hogthwatch, look no further than Igor’th caketh. A theathonal delicathy from Überwald, jutht like the Igorth it ith quick, flexthible and therveth up a treat!
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